Hanso and the Thievius Ixius
by markzilla6895
Summary: Sly Cooper, Neopets style!
1. Prologue

markzilla6895 presents:

Hanso and the Thievius Ixius

Starring:

Hanso the Ixi

Also Starring:

Mark the Kacheek

Dempsey the Grarrl

Featuring:

The Fiendish Five

And introducing:

Brynn the Kougra as the Inspector

…

It was a dark night in Neopia Central. Most of the citizens were asleep at this hour. But as most of the city slept, a lone shadow silently leapt over the rooftops until it landed on the chimney of a building near the Defenders of Neopia HQ. On closer view, it was revealed to be the figure of a familiar blue Ixi thief. He was also carrying a familiar-looking cane. Suddenly, a device on the Ixi's belt started to buzz. He retrieved a pair of goggles from the belt and brought it up to his eyes.

"Hanso! Come in! Hanso! Do you read me?" A blue Kacheek wearing glasses that hid his eyes called out from the other end of the goggles' communicator.

"Yeah, I read you." Hanso whispered. "Loud and… very loud."

"Sorry." The Kacheek apologized. "I'm a little nervous. Trying to break into Defenders headquarters does that."

"Get over it, Mark. You're safe in the van. I'm the thief here. I've got to steal that file from Inspector Brynn Kougra."

"Well, count on me to be your eyes and ears, buddy. Got their security system totally scoped." Mark said. "To get inside, you're gonna have to go through that air vent."

"Alright, I'm going in." Hanso replied.

"And don't forget you got me at the wheel, Hanso." A green Grarrl said, replacing Mark's image on the communicator. "All you gotta do is grab the file and get back to the van. We'll do the rest."

"Just keep that engine running, Dempsey." Hanso said. "I'll be down in no time."

Hanso switched off the communicator and leaped off the chimney onto the building's rooftop. He climbed up a makeshift ramp which lead to the building's water tower. He then noticed a strange blue light on the rim. Confused, he opened up the communicator again.

"Hey Mark, I think I'm seeing things. Must be vertigo or something. Can you see those crazy blue lights?"

"Really?" Mark asked in excitement. "I've read about this. Master Ixi thieves are able to sense thieving opportunities which manifest themselves as unexplainable blue auras. According to my research, all you have to do get near them and hold down the Circle Button, and you should perform a super sneaky master thief move."

"Mark, this isn't a video game. It's a fanfiction based on a video game."

"Hey, I'm just following the script. Just stay close to the wall."

"Stay close to the wall. I'm on it." Hanso put the goggles away, and quietly sneaked around the water tower's rim. He then leaped on two TV antennae and reached the air vent. He quickly smashed it with his cane and entered the HQ's ventilation system. He suddenly stopped at a grid of yellow lasers.

"Be extra careful here, Hanso." Mark's voice said on the stored communicator. "Break one of those laser beams and you'll set off the alarms- not to mention you'll be fried to a crisp!"

Hanso leapt to a nearby platform below and did so two more times until he reached a switch at the bottom. He hit the switch with the cane, shutting all the lasers down.

"Nice job." Mark said. "You're in. Inspector Brynn Kougra's office is behind the red door."

Hanso searched the building's hallway until he found the red door which had the face of a Kougra on it.

"That door must be super-reinforced, Hanso." Mark showed up again. "Maybe there's a way to get around it."

Hanso leaped out the open window onto the remains of a ledge. He quickly did another slinking move into the open window of Inspector Kougra's office. All over the room were photos of Hanso and arrows pointing at his face. He quickly ran to the safe.

"Way to go, Hanso!" Mark congratulated. "This is where Inspector Brynn stashes all her important files. I hacked into the Defenders' security mainframe and discovered this vault's combo. Try dialing in 9-3-7."

Hanso did so, and lo and behold, the safe opened to reveal a folder marked "Hanso the Ixi." Hanso immediately grabbed it and replaced it with a paper card of his face.

"Nice job- you got it!" Dempsey cheered. "If you come down through the fire escape and head through the parking lot, we'll be waiting in the getaway van."

Hanso quickly leaped out of the window onto the fire escape. Suddenly, an orange Kougra holding a weird gun leaped from behind the chimney of a nearby building.

"CRIMINAL!" She screamed and then leapt onto a sign closer to the fire escape. "You foolish Ixi! I've caught you red-handed!"

"Ah, Brynn. I haven't seen you since I gave you the slip Geraptiku." Hanso said.

"Which reminds me- you need to restore the Fire Stone of Mystery Island to its rightful owners." Brynn replied.

"Aw, and I was going to give it to you a little token of my… Hey, that bazooka really brings out the color of your eyes more than that sword. Very fetching."

"You think? This pistol packs a paralyzing punch. You ought to try it. Might snap you out of your crime spree."

"And give up our little rendezvous?" Hanso asked flirtingly.

"Plenty of time for that once you're safely behind bars."

"Love to stick around and chat, but I've got a van to catch." Hanso took off down the fire escape. Brynn immediately began to fire electrical blasts from her pistol. Hanso however was too quick for Brynn to make a precise mark. Hanso ran across the parking lot and into the back door of the getaway van. The van quickly drove away, leaving Brynn screaming in frustration.

"You can't escape me, Ixi!" She shouted.

Soon…

_Hanso's POV_

Once again, my gang and I had given Inspector Brynn Kougra the slip. I was surprised to see how well she took it. Finally, the secret police file I had been searching for all these years. With this, I could avenge my family and regain possession of our most valued treasure. It all began when I was just a kid, bouncing on my father's knee. You see, I come from a long line of master thieves who kept all their secrets of sneaking and stealing in an ancient book: the Thievius Ixius. Anyone who read it learned to be especially sneaky, which is why we specialize in stealing from criminals. After all, there's no honor, no challenge, no fun stealing from ordinary people. You rip off a master criminal, you know you're a master thief. Well on the night I was supposed to inherit the book, five visitors came unannounced to our door. My father fought to protect us, but the gang of villains known as the Fiendish Five overpowered him and ransacked our house until they found the Thievius Ixius. Our family's manual of thieving greatness fell right into their filthy hands. They tore the book into five pieces and split up, each villain disappearing to the farthest corners of the world to commit dastardly crimes. Broke and alone, I was dumped at the town orphanage. There I met two guys who became my lifelong buddies and trusted crew: Mark, techno-genius and strategist supreme, and Dempsey, part-time driver and full-time burden. Together, we pledged to track down the Fiendish Five, avenge my father, and steal back the Thievius Ixius. I knew I was about to face the toughest test of my life. On this mission, either I would become a master thief like my ancestors before me or fail and allow my family's name to bite the dust.


	2. A Stealthy Approach

_Hanso's POV_

The road trip gave me the time I needed to study up on Sir Toby, the Quiggle. As a young pet, this hot-tempered Quiggle grew bored of his life of luxury and privilege. On a whim, he tried his hand in a bit of piracy and found it to his liking. Toby, who quickly became addicted to crime, was brought into the Fiendish Five as chief machinist where his evil tinkering genius rose to new heights. The last reported sighting of this mad machinist was off the coast of Krawk Island, somewhere in the middle of the perilous Welsh Triangle.

…

**Hanso in: Tide of Terror**

…

The getaway van pulled up to the edge of a tropical jungle clearing. Hanso leaped out of the back and ran to a sign that read "Keep Out!" Ignoring the warning, he quickly ran through a natural stone tunnel which led to a gloomy beach with several small islands. Suddenly Hanso's goggles buzzed again. He pulled them from his belt and brought them to his eyes.

"Hey, Hanso!" Mark said. "I just spotted something that's going to complicate the mission. See that nasty looking gate? It blocks the only road leading into Toby's hideout."

Hanso moved his head to see an iron gate with a searchlight on top on the farthest island.

"No problem." Hanso replied. "I'll just use my climb move."

"Okay, but remember: you can only climb on certain objects. Like pipes and ropes."

"Yeah sure, and like that ladder there?" Hanso asked, zooming in on a ladder.

"That is correct. But do not forget, Hanso, you have to get close…"

"…then hit the Circle Button to grab it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Relax, Mark. I live for this stuff."

"Yeah and that's what worries me. Just get close and grab on."

"And you really need to stop saying this story's like it's a video game."

Hanso put the goggles away and ran toward the water. Seeing a partially sunken bridge, he ran across it and smashed two glass bottles in the process.

"Now this is very interesting." Mark said. "The message you just found seems to be some sort of clue! I'll decipher it here in the van. In the meantime, see if you can find any more clues. The more I have, the easier it'll be to crack the code."

Sly reached the area around the gate, collecting all the bottles he could find. He then latched onto a hanging rope and climbed over the fence. When he neared the searchlight, his goggle buzzed again. He brought them up to his eyes.

"Hold on, Hanso." Mark warned. "See those searchlights? One careless step and you'll be subjected to acute combustion."

"Are you done whining? Let's go!" Hanso said impatiently.

"I'm just trying to keep you alive 'partner.'" Mark said with concern. "Fortunately for you I launched these signal repeaters throughout Toby's fortress. Get close to one and I can checkpoint your progress."

"Nice!" Hanso put the goggles away and carefully sneaked by the searchlights' light. He took out the guard on duty and collected two more bottles. He then saw a wrecked boat and a blimp floating above it in the distance. Mark contacted him again.

"According to my Amphibio-Positioning System, that big blimp is where Toby is hiding out." Mark said.

"You know that blimp looks more like a machine than a hide-out." Hanso said on closer inspection.

"You're right, Hanso. That is a storm machine! It's the reason why it never stops raining around here."

"That explains all the wrecked ships." Hanso moved his head to show Mark a bunch of shipwrecks.

"But why would Toby want bad weather at his own hide-out 24/7?" Mark asked curiously.

"Beats me," Hanso said. "But rain or shine, I'm going to steal my family's book back. And if Toby gets in my way, it's on."

Hanso put the goggles away and continued collecting bottles and taking out guards. After crossing two streams, Mark once again contacted him.

"Nice job so far, Hanso. To get over the next gate, you'll need to grab onto this hook using your cane. Just jump and hit the Circle Button…" Mark quickly stopped himself. "Er, I mean use the cane to grab onto the hook."

Hanso put the goggles away and used his hook to grab onto the hook and swung over the fence. He quickly dodged more searchlights and took out more guards. He then collected another bottle and stopped at a safe.

"That large vault has got to be somehow related to those clues in those bottles you've been collecting." Mark said. "If you can locate all the clues in this area, I should be able to crack the code and get you inside it."

Hanso sneakily climbed up a rope to the nearest watchtower. When he got onto it, he collected two more bottles and smashed a power box, shutting down the searchlight. He then climbed onto another rope to the other tower and collected the last two bottles.

"You found it, Hanso! That's the final clue to crack the code! Now find that vault and I'll give you the instructions to open it.!"

Hanso quickly ran to the safe.

"The clues have led me to believe that the code for this vault is 7-9-2."

Hanso entered those three numbers and the safe's door swung open. Inside was a single book page. Hanso quickly grabbed it.

"Hanso, you found a page from the Thievius Ixius! This page teaches old Drake Ixi's Fast Attack Dive Move. Jump and dive to use it."

Hanso put the page away and placed a paper card of his face inside the safe like what he did in Brynn's office. He then ran to the next island and smashed a cage holding the key to the next area. Hanso used the key on the door near him and ran inside.


End file.
